Negative Friendships.

Sourced from tumblr. Original source unknown.

 

I have personally dealt with my fair share of negative friendships. Some of which, as you can probably guess, did nothing but drain me. I have had friends in the past that would constantly make negative comments about me, bitch about me behind my back, try to belittle me and so on. I am much older and stronger now and realise that these people were very insecure and sadly, felt the need to project their insecurities on happy, innocent and unassuming little girls like myself.

When you are younger, ‘dropping friends out’ can seem like a scary concept because we may feel like if we don’t have friends around us then we lack something within ourselves. Although it sounds strange, friends can seem as if they make up parts inside. Everyone generally defines you by the people you associate with and these are the people you stick with. No one wants to be alone and everyone wants friends – and friends, in abundance.

However, as we grow up we begin to realise the meaning of friendship and the power the people we keep around us can hold. Friendships can leave us with good memories and bad memories. They can help us grow as people and may also stunt our growth. It is only once you start to realise the value within yourself and the fact that friends, are merely an extension of self. That other peoples inability to see you for what you are does not determine your worth. The people that do see you for who you are and bring out those amazing qualities, are the people who you need to surround yourself with.

If being friends with someone makes you feel worse, then you need to sit yourself down and ask “why am I still friends with this person?” Sometimes, it’s not easy to see the effects that people are having on our lives, especially those who we have known for a long time and feel we have formed a strong connection with. An important question is ‘why are we friends with the people we are friends with’? If the answer is not because they ‘make us happy, laugh, add something positive to our lives or motivate us to work harder or to become better people’ then is it really worth it.

The short time I have been at uni has taught me a lot about friendships. Being away from so many of the people in your life and at the same time meeting so many new people has taught me to group people into different purposes. Some people are fun to be around but at the end of the day, are only good for going out. Some people take extra effort to be friends with or make your life more negative. We have all experienced these ‘friends’. We may have to accept that these people are going through a difficult time in their lives or genuinely do not understand that they are being this way. Have we spoken to them about this, do they know? Sometimes we have to understand that these people have done a lot to help us and that we just need patience. After all, strong friendships can be valuable and require hurdles to test their strength.

One of the most important ways in which going to uni has helped my friendships is that it has helped me realise how much I appreciate my close friends back home. I think that it becomes easy to forget, when meeting interesting and different people, that you already have friends and family who are just as interesting. For me, I needed to remember that I have friends who I’ve grown up with, who are positive, (and most importantly) understand me, because we have known each other at different stages of life and watched each other grow. I try to stay in touch with them even though we are too often apart; they remind me of the sorts of people that I need in my life.